


Escaping the problems never work in the long-run

by RandomFanFicGirl



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Little Sisters, Male-Female Friendship, Nightmares, No Romance, Other, Past Abuse, Protective Older Brothers, Roommates, Swearing, Sweet, Teenagers, for now at least
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 08:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1598231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomFanFicGirl/pseuds/RandomFanFicGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How would life look like if your roommates would be Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne. Josephine knows, and she loves it. But what happens when her hidden past comes back to hunt her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction, and I'm new to this writing-thing, so try to be nice :P  
> Also, english is not my first language, so grammar mistakes will probably happen...

Being best friends with five completely different personalities is bound to be an adventure. But being best friends with One Direction was a completely different adventure. Not for the reason one might think, with the paparazzi and the very enthusiastic fans - but simple enough because of their personalities. Twenty year old Niall is always happy and carefree, but a bit insecure. Liam, also being twenty, is the responsible one when he wanted to, but he would lash out and do something unexpected once in a while. Zayn, like the others, is twenty, and he is the one you’re never really sure about. He could be very cuddly and affectionate one day, and completely reserved and grumpy the next one. Louis is the big joker of the group, but he knows his limit and he is very protective of his friends. Being the oldest at twenty-two, he’s taking the older brother role as serious as he does with his real sisters - in his mind, he’s got five more brothers, and I’m lucky enough to be considered his sister. And of course we have nineteen year old Harry, the always so charming and cheeky one, but the one with the most attention - and the one who was most affected by it. They were all so different from one another, and maybe that was the reason they all got along so well.

And then there is me, Jo. My real name is Josephine, but I don’t let anyone call me that ever because it makes me sound like an old lady, and I’m only eighteen. Anyways, so I’m from Sweden, but I moved to London like seven months ago. When I graduated, a year earlier than the rest of the people in my year, my parents told me that the flat they rented out in London was mine to move in to whenever I wanted. I’d just have to tell them, and they’d clear it from the person living there. It had always been my dream to live there, so I’d never been happier. I was so tired of my life in Sweden, same thing every day with fake friends and fake smiles, and I just wanted to start over. So I moved on my own, to another country, and I got a job at Starbucks. It’s not loads of money, but it’s enough for me!

That’s actually how I met Z, Haz, Ni, Li and Lou. Stupid as they tend to be at times, they decided to head out without a bodyguard for some shopping, believing there wouldn’t be that much people outside, since it was a cold day in february. But it was half term, of course there’d be loads of people out. Besides, there’s always people in London, even tourists come here all over the year. Of course they were recognised, so they freaked out and ran into ”my” Starbucks. I realised they had to be in trouble, judging by their faces, so I hid them behind the register. They were very grateful, more so than you might’ve expected, so I got their numbers. We started to text, and eventually we began to hang out, and PANG BOOM I’m sharing a six-bedroom flat with my best friends. So here we are today.

I kind of count Perrie or Eleanor as roommates too, since they often comes to visit their boyfriend and fiancé, they’ve even got their own keys. And of course, this is a very social bunch of lads, and I’m more surprised than not if I come home after work to find that they haven’t invited any friends over. The place is always crowded with people. Not that I mind though, they’re all great people and they seem to like me to, so I’m happy since they’re pretty much the only friends I’ve got in London. I do have a best friend though, Amber, and she’s the first friend I made after I moved. We’re coworkers, and me being kind of alone, she took me ”under her wing” as she likes to put it, trying to pull the protective older brother role in a girl version. I wouldn’t let her, or at least I’d try to escape when she did. I love her though, and I know that she does it because she loves me back. 

And let me tell you how nice it is to have a friend outside of this not-so-small fame I’ve gotten now that I am the One Direction roommate, even though that’s the only thing I’m famous for. She doesn’t care about all that, she still sees me as me, and I do too, since I’m still working at Starbucks. The guys told me I didn’t really need to work, they can pay the bills without a problem, but I don’t want to take their money. They insisted that I wouldn’t, but it still wouldn’t feel right, and I did want some normality left. Fortunately, this made me end up on most on the directioners ”good side”, and fans would rarely bother me during working hours, unless they were really buying something and recognised me (after the boys tweeting about not bothering me of course, if not, I wouldn’t be able to fit every visitor in the shop at once, and this problem we actually had once. Sales went to a record that day, but I’ve never been more tired.) In fact, most of the fans seemed to like me, and this was not something I expected to happen. I mean, I think most of the female (and some of the male) teenaged population of the WORLD would do anything to be in my position, and I counted on being the worst hated girl for a while, but that never really happened. Of course I got hate, probably more than all the lads combined, but it was still not as much as I expected, so I’m happy. I didn’t really care what the fans thought anyway, they didn’t knew me so why would it matter?

I was now happy, after some really horrible months, and I was planing on keeping it that way. I did have another reason for why I wanted to move, but that was a secret I’ve planed to never tell anyone, especially the boys. But it’s as they say: Escaping the problems never work in the long-run.


	2. A not so great day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo has a nightmare, and the lads comfort her. She's quite affected by it, so it's decided that they should go out clubbing to make her relax. But things take a turn for the worse.

_**”You think you can get away from me, don’t you?”** A punch in the face as I’m now lying on the floor in the livingroom. **”You know you want me, you need me in your life. Who else would want you?”** A kick in the stomach. **”You’re ugly.”** Another kick. **”Worthless”** And another one. **”Talentless”** He aimed for the ribs this time, and by now I was coughing up blood. It hurts and I can’t breathe, and I can’t do anything. It’ll only make him angrier. He bent down to my face and whispered to me: **”You’re a little bitch. So ungrateful for everything I’ve done to you. One day I’ll get you, and I’ll get you good.”**  Now he was aiming for my ribs again, and I tried to squirm away. But it just hurt so bad and I couldn’t move. This kick would be the last one, then I’d pass out, I could feel it._

I woke up screaming, waiting for the final kick that’d put me in hospital for at least a week. Then I realised that the kick never came, the room was different, and I was definitely not feeling any pain. It was just a dream. A dream that had me trembling in my bed with tears running down my face at their own free will, and my body sweating buckets. I checked the time on my phone, 4.13am. Perfect. Just perfect. It was saturday morning and I was already awake (there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep again). What do I do now? That’s when I heard footsteps running towards my door, and it swung open. In ran Liam, Louis and Harry with baseball-bats, and Niall with his laptop raised in the air. Still trembling, I looked at them shocked, and then Zayn ran in through the door, tired as always.

”What... What’s happening? Why’re you screaming?” He asked, looking around at the boys with their ”weapons” still raised, and me lying in my bed.

Oh. I woke them up. Of course I would, at bloody 4 in the morning. For a nightmare. They probably thought I was getting kidnaped or something.

”Ehm...” I coughed, a little embarrassed. But I couldn’t really say anything before Liam interrupted me.

”Jo, are you crying? God, you’re shaking, what happened?” He asked me, (finally) dropping the bat to the floor and walking over to me. He sat down next to me in my bed and pulled me into a hug as the others joined on the bed.

”Nightmare again?” Harry asked me, looking a bit hesitant, as if I’d explode if he said the wrong thing.

”Yeah... -wait how did you know?” I asked bewildered. I’d never woken up like this before.

”Jo, it’s not the first time you’ve screamed in your sleep. It happens quite a lot actually, but you’ve always stopped quite soon. It’s never been like this, it was scary.”

”It was...” I say, leaning on Liam as I’m still in his arms. He’s good at that, comforting people without really doing anything. I don’t think he even knows he does it.

”Wanna tell us what it was about? We’re worried about you, you know.” Zayn asks tentatively.

I shuddered at the thought. It may have been a nightmare this time, and all those other times, but it really wasn’t. You see, I used to have a boyfriend in Sweden. His name was Erik and he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first what-I-then-thought-was-love-but-have-now-understood-it-wasn’t. And he abused me. Not from the beginning, but after about two months. He broke me down, my confidence was gone, and so my pride. I was embarrassed, and I still am. I don’t understand how I could’ve wound up with a guy like him. After three months, I wanted out of the relationship. I tried to leave, but every time I did, I’d end up with another beating. What’s worse was that no one knew about it. I had to work out how to manage him, school and my job at the same time.

One day, he decided that it was time to take the relationship even further. I’m not the one to wait until marriage, but I want my first time having sex to mean something. And I didn’t want it to be with him. But he tried, and I fought back. That’s the fight I have to relive every night, the one that ended with me unconscious in the hospital. When I woke up, my parents told me I’d fallen down some stairs, and that Erik had gone of to a conference for the week, but I knew better. He was at a cruise, parting with his friends, and probably having sex with everything that moved. And that’s when I decided I’d do it. I had realised that a face-to-face breakup was not an option with Erik, and I decided that a letter would be good enough. My parents had bought me the apartment in London, and I was free to move there whenever I was ready. So I wrote him a letter saying that I’d had enough and left. I applied for every work I could get, but considering I was already working at a coffeehouse in Sweden, it was not hard to get the Starbucks-job.

I knew that I should probably tell the lads about this, but there were some reasons that stopped me from doing it. I knew that it’d already be a difficult task for me to find a boyfriend, with me living with five all-male, protective best friends. But if they’d find out what happened to me before, I’d never be allowed to even look at a boy ever again. And secondly, I was ashamed. Ashamed that I fell for Erik’s bullshit, ashamed that I stayed with him for nine months, ashamed that I wasn’t good enough as a girlfriend. It’d be better to just let it be.

”No, not really. It’s a bit blurry so I’m not remembering much. Sorry I woke you up, and the other times I did too.” I said blushing, and my eyes fluttering a bit. After having the boys silently comforting me, I’d gotten tired. Maybe I would get some sleep tonight after all.

”You have nothing to be sorry about, love, ’s not your fault, ok? Let’s all just go to bed, and hopefully get some more sleep tonight, yeah?” Harry said. The other lads nodded their heads and they all gave me a good night-hug before leaving. Liam being Liam though, stopped at the door.

”You’re sure you’re okay? Promise to wake me up if something’s wrong.” He tried to give me a stern look, but the worry hiding in his eyes gave him away - they were really worried. I felt bad, I didn’t know about this, but I didn’t want Liam to turn in his bed for the rest of the night, over-thinking and not being able to fall asleep. Therefore, I put on the most convincing look I could at the moment and told him I would. We seemed happy with that, and we all went to bed.

I actually surprised myself and slept a couple more hour that night. I woke up at 8.37 and the house was quiet, so I assumed the lads were all still asleep. Then I started to think about what happened during the night, and the night I told the boys about Erik, but still not really doing it.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

”So, Josephine...” Louis said smirking, obviously teasing me. I had now lived with the boys for two weeks, but Louis still felt there was a lot he still needed to know about me, such as my childhood pets, my favourite colour, anything you really don’t need to know about your best friend but you still do. He was probably looking for some black-mailing material.

”...Who was your first boyfriend?” At the last word, I froze. What do I do? I should tell them the truth, but then I’ll never be allowed to have a boyfriend again, and I don’t want that to happen. I mean, I want to date later, I’m just not ready ye- I snapped out of my thoughts as someone snapped their fingers in my face.

”Hey Jo, wake up! What’re you doing?” It was Harry. And I noticed the other guys all looking at me. How long did I really zone out?

”Yeah, sorry I...” I began, but Louis had to but in.

”You’ve never had a boyfriend, have you?" He squeezed his eyes together, processing this new information.

"Uhm..." _YesNoYesNoYesNo what do I say what is easier?_ "No." I didn't want to talk about Erik more than necessary, it's in the past, and it's staying there.

The lads looked surprised at this fact. I wonder why?

"First snog? First kiss? Oh my, Jo are you a virgin?!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ugh Hazza whyyy?" I groaned, laid down on my back and closed my eyes. I needed to collect my thoughts, this was bigger to them than I thought it would be. When I realised they were still waiting for my answer, I said "No, no and yes."

"But why? You're amazing!" Niall asked me.

"Well… uhm I've never found someone who likes me."

"That's bullocks Jo, everywhere we go, there's always some jerk flirting with you!" Zayn accused. Which, to all of our dismay, was true. I wasn't ready to date again, and the boys never found someone they deemed good enough for me.

"Okay okay, I've just never found someone I liked…" I tried, and this seemed to work.

"Aw Jo, don't worry, you'll find someone eventually." Liam said. "After we've approved of him." He finished with a smirk.

_Of course._

"Yeah lads, seems like we need to protect our little sister even more now, she's even more innocent than I thought." Zayn said. I groaned and rolled over, while my idiots laughed around me.

****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** END OF FLASHBACK **~~~~~ **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****

The rest of the day we never really did anything. Perrie and El came over of course, and the guys told them about my nightmare. Apparently the nightmares was a known fact to a lot of people. How embarrassing, they've all known for weeks and never told me!

They did try and talk to me about it, and they asked if I remembered what it was about. Of course I did, the dream - and memory - have been going over and over in my brain for weeks. But I didn’t tell them that, because I still haven’t told them about Erik. I was still debating pros and cons of doing it, and every time I decided it was time for them to know, some stupid argument I hadn’t considered appeared in my mind and I had to think it over again.

By noon, it was all forgotten, well almost. It seems like this dream affected me more than the previous ones, and I was fidgety. The others noticed too, and sent each other worried looks when I didn’t notice. El and Pez both left after the dinner Harry prepared, since he was the only one of the boys who could actually cook, and he assured that he was fine with doing it so I could have a chat with the girls. I appreciated it, I didn’t have the energy to cook for eight tonight.

After dinner, the Zayn and Louis decided that we’d go out clubbing, saying that it’d make me forget the dream and relax a bit. I thought it’d work, so I agreed, and in the evening we head out to Funky Buddha. I don’t drink alcohol, but I dance, and the music, the atmosphere and the boys actually made me forget. At some point during the night, I had to go to the loo, and even though the lads argued that someone should follow with me, I assured them to keep dancing. What could happen? I had taken a couple of self-defence classes so I knew how to handle the crowd. When I exited the loo and was on my way back, I felt a hand on my shoulder, so I turned around, and I froze.

”Hey hun...”


	3. He found me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone Jo hasn't seen in months appear out of nowhere, and things get tense. The boys save the day, but demands an explanation.

Erik was standing in front of me. Erik. How did he know I was here? How on earth did he find me in London? Too shocked to form a rational response, I tried to turn around.

”No you won’t, I didn’t come all the way to London to have you walk out on me again.” He growled, and placed me with my back against a wall. He’d found a part of the club unattended, and I wished that I hadn’t fought the guys on the matter earlier. Or maybe I was glad, this man could still be a secret.

”What are you doing here?” I asked, annoyed at how small my voice sounded.

”Why honey, what’d you expect? You really think you can just walk out of our relationship like that? Especially without telling me? No babe, this relationship isn’t over until I say it is.” He declared, voice low and angry. His right hand moved from my shoulder a tiny bit, getting closer to my neck. Where was Paul or the lads or anybody really, when you needed them?

”I’m not your babe, and this wasn’t a relationship, it was fucking captivity!” I snarled. But my anger vanished as soon as it appeared, when I saw his temper rise to the sky. This time his hand moved over my neck, squeezing. It was harder to breath, but not enough to make me panic.

”Don’t you ever swear at me, you little bitch. You’re going home with me, whether you like it or not!” He growled and leaned in to kiss me, and before I could help myself, I spat in his face. And if looks could kill, I’d died ten times over. He took a step back and went to hit me, and I closed my eyes, praying that anyone would come.

”Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!” Someone yelled. Was that Zayn? I opened my eyes and saw the lads in the room, all sobered up with different levels of fury. Before anyone could relax, Erik hit me, straight in the jaw, and my head flew back into the wall behind me from the force. The lads all flew over Erik as I slid down the wall. My head was pounding, but I’d had worse. It’d been months since the last time though, so I wasn’t as used to it anymore, as horrible as it sounds. I guess I zoned out a bit again, because the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground with the lads panicked eyes in my face. Someone touched the bruise on my jaw and I flinched away.

”Don’t. I’m fine, can we just go home?” I pleaded. I didn’t know where Erik was, at least he was out of the room - which was now crowded with other people - but I didn’t want to take any chances. As I tried to sit up, Niall pushed me down.

”Fine? You’re not fine! You just got punched, and you’ve got a bad bruise in the back of your head! Don’t play it of as nothing, this is obviously something!” He exclaimed. As he said it, someone approached us with to bags of ice, which Harry accepted, and he placed one on my jaw. Getting tired of all of the people around, and all the unwanted attention I knew I’d get since I saw a few cellphones out probably filming it, I - again - couldn’t stop myself before I said ”Please, let’s just leave. It’s not too bad, he’s done worse. I just wanna go home.” After realising what I said, I was glad it was loud enough in the room for the boys only to hear. But judging by the looks of their faces, they were not happy at all. But before anyone saying anything, Liam lifted me of the ground bridal style, and placed the other icepack on the back of my head, while I was now holding the one on my jaw.

We went out the back with the other lads in tow, and I could tell they were mad, but if it was at me or at Erik I can’t tell. Paul was the driver tonight, and Liam placed me in the front seat without saying a word, and joined the rest of the lads in the back of the van. The ride was quiet and it made me realise they were probably mad at me. I half expected them all to rush into the flat, letting me walk on my own, but when I stepped out of the car, Zayn rushed up to me and lifted me the same way Liam did before.

”I can walk, you know” I said, just wanting to hear someone say something, but he didn’t even acknowledge me. Louis walked ahead of us, opening the door to the flat, but Liam, Harry and Niall all walked behind me. They still hadn’t said a word, and I was nervous about what was going to happen. When we all were in the hallway, Louis turned to me and asked ”Can you go and change on your own or do you need help?”

”No, I can do it, I’m telling you, I’m fine!” I tried to assure them, but the sad and hollow feeling I got after a beating when I still was with Erik started to appear again, and the lads could probably tell before even I could. They knew me well enough to know my feelings better than me. And I really didn’t want any of them to help me get changed. They were like brothers to me, but it’d be awkward.

Niall sighed. ”Stop saying you’re fine because you’re not. If you’re sure you can manage on your own, go get changed and wait for us. We’re gonna talk about this, and if you would need help anyways, just call and someone’ll come.” They all walked to their rooms, and I stepped into mine. It was a bit harder to walk than I thought, but I could manage. I placed the icepacks on the bed and threw of my dress. I stepped in my onepiece jumpsuit and I went to my bathroom to remove my makeup. As I sat down on the bed, I heard a knock on my door and an ”Are you done?” from Harry.

”Yeah” I answered, and the lads, all dressed in sweatpants and hoodies joined me, Zayn and Liam on either side of me, Louis, Harry and Niall in front of us. Louis handed me two new icepacks since the others were thawed, and I placed one at the back of my head and leaned against the headboard so I wouldn’t have to hold it, and I held the other one to my jaw.

”So... Would you please tell us what happened back there?” Zayn eventually asked. I sighed because I knew I had to tell them the truth. It’d be hard, and I really didn’t want to, but they deserved to know.

”Before I start, there’s just some things I want to say, because you need to know this. The first thing is that please, please try to shut up. I know you’ll want to interrupt, but it’s hard for me to talk about this because I never did before, and I don’t want it to be harder than necessary. The second is that if you have any questions, ask them when I’m done. The third is kind of weird, but I’ll need it. Could anyone record what I’m saying? It’ll be a long story to tell, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell El and Pez too soon. And the last, most important thing you need to know is that I trust you. I’d trust every single one of you with my life. I do have trust issues, but not with you, and the reason I never told you this story is not because I didn’t trust you. Can we all agree on that before I tell you everything?” I eyed them all, and I could feel the tension in the air as they all nodded. I saw Louis with his phone, he was the one to record everything apparently. I don’t really think I’m ready for this, but I don’t really have a choice. I closed my eyes and decided how and where to begin.


	4. Hidden past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo tells the lads what really happened in her life, that made her move to London.

”All my life, I’ve been very insecure about myself. I never saw myself as someone people would want to hang out with, but did out of pity. I saw myself as fat, ugly, boring and pretty much worthless. As if nobody wanted me. I was oblivious to advances from boys, flirting and all of that, and I thought that nobody would ever want me as a girlfriend. But I never showed this to anyone. I always had a big smile on my face and no one saw anything past it, or they never really cared enough to ask.

So when this guy really started to talk to me a lot, I was so confused. Why was he talking to me? Out of every girl, he texted me every night, we talked for hours straight every day, and we hung out at least once a week. And he listened to me. At first, I didn’t open up to him, only told him what I told everybody else, but he was the first one to tell me to tell the truth. So I did, and I talked about everything - my insecurities, my worries about my friends, my worries about graduation, everything. And he was there to comfort me, give me advice, and just listen. And I fell for him, hard. I had never felt that much for anyone before, and when he told me he felt the same for me, I was over the moon. He held my hand, he bought me flowers, he was just the most amazing boyfriend. He meant so much to me, and soon, he became my first kiss - which might not mean much to people nowadays, but it did to me. It still does.”

I opened my eyes to look at the lads, to see their reactions so far, because I knew that this piece of information only, was hard on them. They knew I wasn’t too confident, and they encouraged me every day. To not but in and say something was hard for them, I could tell on their faces. I decided to close my eyes again, because I didn’t want to look at them as I told them this.

”One night, about two months into the relationship, he came knocking on my door. My parents were away on a working trip and I was home alone, so I let him in. I didn’t realise he was drunk until he pushed me up against the wall. He reeked of alcohol and weed, and he tried to remove my pants. I had never gone further than snogging before, and I wasn’t ready for anything more then, so I told him no and he was furious. He threw me to the ground, and that was the first beating I ever got. After that, he left me to tend to myself. When he came back the next day, I was terrified. But he was so upset, he broke down in tears the minute he saw me, and I comforted him for hours, telling him it was an accident and that I forgave him. He seemed so grateful, the same night he spoiled me rotten with a pretty dress, jewellery and a dinner. But I’d already forgiven him.”

Now, tears was beginning to roll down my face, but I kept on with the story. I sneaked a quick glance at the boys, and saw them all heartbroken and furious at the same time. If it wouldn’t have been such a serious situation, I’d laughed.

”Next time it happened, he wasn’t high, he wasn’t drunk, and he certainly wasn’t sorry. It was two weeks later, and I was supposed to spend the weekend with him. He had moved out of his parents house, to his own flat, so we were alone that night. I was cooking his favourite meal for dinner, when I accidentally burned it, and he was not happy. This beating was worse, and he made sure not to aim at any visible places, so he wouldn’t get caught.

In the next two weeks, he beat me four times, and he began to call me names. Whore, ugly, worthless, talentless, unwanted, everything I didn’t want to hear, and everything I slowly began to believe. After three months in the relationship, and one month of them with abuse, I tried to leave. I’d never seen Erik so mad before, he actually broke my arm. And that was when I realised that I was in it until he wanted out of it. I don’t even know why he still wanted me, he told me he loved me, but I don’t think he did.

One night, about seven months later, I was cleaning his flat when he came home. I knew that if the place wasn’t spotless when he came home, he’d beat me, but he was early. He pushed me to the floor and straddled my waist. He groped my breast as he tried to kiss me, but I turned my face. I tried to fight, so hard, but it wasn’t helping.”

I had to stop myself to catch my breath. Tears were now pouring fast and I could hear some sniffles from someone. As I looked around to find that it was Niall, I felt myself being pulled into someones arms, and I knew it was Liam. I stayed silent for another moment before continuing, now with my eyes open. They were so filled with tears I couldn’t focus on anything anyway so what’s the point?

”This is where my nightmare always starts. He punched me in the face, before getting off of me. He told me I was unwanted. Then he kicked me. Over and over and over again. He told me what a pointless human being I was. He kicked me in the ribs, and it was getting hard to breathe. I was coughing up blood all over the floor, but I couldn’t move. It hurt so much. After the last kick, I passed out. I now know that after I was out, he cleaned up and when he was done, he threw me down the stairs before calling the ambulance. When I woke up I had five broken ribs, a broken wrist, a concussion, a sprained foot and a boyfriend out of town.”

I felt Liam’s arms tense more and more around me as I counted the injuries, and when I finished the sentence, Louis exclaimed with a fury I’d never heard or seen from him before: ”WHAT?! He actually _left_ you?!”

”Please, Louis, not now” I pleaded, closing my eyes again. The story was almost done, and if I stopped now, I wouldn't be able to continue. He didn’t say anything else, and I felt a hand rubbing my back, so I continued with the last piece of the story.

”My parents told me he was for a week-long conference, but I knew he was of to a cruise with his friends. Apparently he only left two hours before I woke up, and I was so relieved that I didn’t have to meet him. After two days, I got to leave the hospital, and I told my parents that I didn’t know why Erik was there in the first place, that we’d broken up. I then told them that I wanted to move in to the flat they rented out in London, since they weren’t renting it at the moment. I wrote Erik a letter that I left in his flat, telling him I left and I was never coming back. Dad helped me with everything, and four days later, I landed in London. Tonight was the first time I saw him since that happened. As I left the loo, he pushed me against the wall and told me I was going home with him again. And you know the rest.”

After the story ended, I completely broke down. The boys all had a lot of questions, but I’d never be able to answer them in the state I was in, so instead, they all wrapped their arms around me and Liam, and I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but I ended up falling asleep in their arms, and I still hadn’t stopped crying.


	5. Talking about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Jo wakes up, and she brings herself to discuss what happened with the boys, El, Perrie and Amber.

It felt as if I’d only been asleep for seconds I woke up. I was alone in my bedroom, but as I looked at the windows, I realised that it wasn’t seconds, because the sun was shining behind the curtains. I checked the time on my phone and it showed 3.37pm. I’ve slept the entire day! Why didn’t the lads wa- oh. I told them last night. Oh. My. God. They know. And we haven’t even talked about it yet, I only told them the story. This was going to be a long and emotional day. It was a good thing I was well rested for this.

 

I stepped out of my room and heard the tv on in the living room, but before heading there, I walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. But when I entered, I found El standing there making a cup of tea. When she heard me enter, she looked up at me, and I could see the tear streaks on her cheeks. My first instinct told me that she and Louis had a fight, but then I realised she wouldn’t be here if that was the case. And then I remembered the recording. She must’ve listened to it, and that means that Perrie’s probably here too.

 

”Oh Jo” she sobbed as she ran up to me, engulfing me in the biggest hug. I hugged her back and stood there as she cried against my shoulder, as Louis walked into the room. He must’ve heard her sobbing and gone to comfort her.

 

”Jo, you’re awake!” He nearly shouted as he ran over and trapped me in a Elounor-sandwich, while the other boys, accompanied by Perrie and Amber, ran in and joined the hug. By now I couldn’t help myself and even I started to cry too, but it didn’t take long for me to realise that the others were all crying or sniffing as well. We stood there for a couple of minutes before it became really warm, and I squirmed out of the hug. We all stood there kind of awkwardly wiping our eyes. Louis spoke up first.

 

”Jo, I hope you don’t mind that I played the recording for Pez, El and Amber, I figured you’d want them to know...” He said uncertainly.

 

”Of course Lou, I wanted them here, and I don’t think I’d been able to retell the entire story today. Should we all take places in the sofa and I’ll answer your questions or whatever?”

 

They all nodded and left, and I grabbed a new icepack from the freezer before entering the living room, where apparently, Perrie had saved me a seat next to her. The minute I sat down, she curled up next to me and took my hand. She was a real wreck, still crying, and slightly shaking, so I didn’t mind. I placed the icepack on my jaw and decided to switch between the bump in the back of my head and the jaw every once in a while.

 

The rest of the group sat there, looking at me. It felt awkward so I spoke up:

 

”So, I’ve told you briefly what happened, and I know you have a lot to ask. I’ll answer anything as good as I can, and feel free to ask anything. I won’t be offended...” I drifted of at the end, wondering what they had for me.

 

”Well...” Niall began, and I nodded at him to continue. ”One of the things that surprised me most about this whole thing is the fact that you - out of all people - ended up in a relationship like that. You’re such a nice person and you do everything you can to satisfy everyone else before you. Like... What happened? Did you not understand that he was like this before it became serious?”

 

Everyone was quiet as I tried to gather my mind and find the correct answer in my brain.

 

”I’ve given this question a lot of thinking myself, and I think I know why I didn’t suspect anything. As I told you yesterday, I’d never had such strong feelings for anyone before, and you know how the first relationship feels like. You kind of ignore all the flaws of the person, instead of noting them. You know, if you know what to look for in a person, and find the opposite, you know it’s not going to work, and the more dating you do, the better you become at knowing what to look for. But I only searched for someone nice who’d listen to me, since it was what I needed. The strong and forceful traits he had was something that didn’t even bother me when I found them. And me, being the weak, insecure girl, was an easy victim to become a punching bag. I was too easy to catch. When I realised what he really was like, it was too late, and I was too scared to do anything about it.”

 

”But, didn’t anyone notice any difference? You said the bruises hid easily, but it must’ve affected you mentally too? Couldn’t anybody see that?” Liam asked, a bit frustrated.

 

”Actually, no. I told you too that I never showed my ”friends” what was going on inside my head, with all the insecurities and such. I learned to hide behind a mask, and this was just another thing to hide. The only time I really took of the mask was when I was with him or completely alone.”

 

The room went silent and I observed my friends as they thought about what I told them. Perrie still had a firm grip on my hand and she still laid cuddled up against my side, so I went and placed my head on hers. I placed the icepack on the back of my head, but it was annoying to hold my arm that way, and Louis who sat beside me seemed to notice. He took it from me and held it there so I could relax, and I thanked him silently before looking at Zayn who looked like he was about to say something.

 

”I just... I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that this happened to you, out of everybody. You’re just a genuinely nice person and you’d never do anything to deserve this. God, I wished I was there earlier so I could stop him from doing this to you. And now, like how did he even found you?” I could tell Zayn was frustrated. I don’t think he’d hesitate to pound Erik if he ever saw him again, and Zayn is not even a violent person.

 

”To be honest, I have no idea. That’s the most terrifying part of it. The only ones from Sweden who really knows where I live is my parents, and they promised not to tell Erik if he ever asked. I told them things were bad between us - which they are, but I didn’t tell them how bad. But they promised, and I know they wouldn’t break that promise. And- wait a minute, what happened to him last night? Where did he go?” I asked, starting to freak out a bit. What if he knew where I lived. What if he tried again? He’d never forget this, he’d kill me, oh my-

 

”Hey hey! Jo, calm down hun, calm down. He was thrown out, and we don’t know where he went, but Paul and the rest of the team knows, and there’s no way he can enter this building. It’s always security at every entrance, and even more now. He’s not going to get you again, okay? We won’t leave you alone, you’re safe now.” I had started to hyperventilate, but Harry was there fast to calm me down and I was grateful. Life was stressful enough without having to worry about him.

 

”Yeah, you’re our baby girl, we can’t have anything happening to you.” Liam smiled, but with a hint of seriousness. We all laughed a bit, and El turned on a movie. Turns out she chose Tangled, but I’m not complaining, it’s such a cute movie. When the movie ended, we all sat in silence before Amber spoke up.

 

”Hey Jo?”

 

”Yeah Am?” I thought the questions were over, but apparently not.

 

”The things he told you... You don’t believe them, do you?”

 

The room went deadly silent and I groaned inwardly. I hated talking about my insecurities because that meant that people would throw compliment after compliment at me, and it’d become so many that it doesn’t sound believable anymore. But this is Amber, and she’s smart, of course she’d patch up two and two, I bet she already knows the answer to her question. But honestly, after hearing those words as often as I did, you can’t help but believe them, and it’s hard to forget them, even after hearing the opposite every day. I had found out, quite early in our friendship, that these guys hated to hear me talk badly about myself, so for them to hear this would probably piss them off, and I hate to see people mad. So being the coward I am, I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands, being careful about my left side and the bruise before explaining.

 

”The thing is, that when it’s the only thing you hear day after day, you can’t help but start to believe it, and it kind of builds up a wall on your inside. And the wall gets so strong that the nice words you get can’t break it down, it stays strong. Somedays you can find ways around it, but it’s still there, and with every little word it gets stronger, it soaks them up like a sponge. It takes much more power to break it down that it takes to build it up, and I realised long ago that it’ll always be there. The words, I’ll never be able to stop believing them. He ruined me beyond repair, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

 

”No, stop it _right_ there.” Perrie sternly says to me, as she sits down in front of me and removes my hands, forcing me to look at her. ”You may be broken, but everything can be fixed. You have so many people here who loves you, and we’ll do whatever we can to make this better. You are an amazing person, and you’re like a little sister to all of us. We’ll not just sit by when you’re feeling all sad and unwanted, because you’re not. Okay, you hear that? We all love you, you’re gorgeous, so kind, we’re happy to get to consider ourselves your friends. We do not pity you, we care about you because we love you. Okay?”

By now, I was sobbing again. No one has ever told me something like that, been so honest with me, and genuinely told me how much they care about me. So Perry wrapped me up in a hug, and let me cry it all out. God, I’m a mess today, but I feel so much better knowing my friends are there for me.


	6. Another secret

A couple of days had now passed, and I was happier than I’ve been in a very long time. Everything that happened had gone smoothly, except from a minor argument between me and mostly Zayn, but the others had a part in it too. They wanted me to stop using twitter for a while to avoid the hate, but Zayn wanted me to deactivate it and never use it again. But I won them over when I talked about the tactic I’d developed as my followers, and also the hate, increased. I’d noticed quite early that the twitter accounts that sent me hate were all fan accounts of the boys, and it’s well-known that those accounts will hate one everything and everyone that doesn’t fit in with the way they have imagined us to be. If Zayn’d give me a friendly hug in the streets, these people would accuse me of being the ”second girl”, as if Zayn would ever cheat on Perrie. If I’d go shopping with Liam and Niall, I’d be cheating on Zayn. No matter what I did, I got hate from them. So I wouldn’t take any of them seriously, but I’d still block all of them. This argument made me win the fight, so I was happy.

 

I did get more compliments and such from everyone, but it wasn’t forced. Like, they didn’t compliment me because they felt they had to, there were no ”I like your sweatpants” or ”you may have burned the food, but it gave it a good twist, I like it”. It was genuine comments, over the smallest things, like if I washed their clothes, which I didn’t always do, but it happened once in a while, or if I made a new dish for dinner they hadn’t eaten yet. Whatever they said was genuine and real, and it made me feel a bit better.

 

Today, I and Amber was in the middle of our shifts when the boys, all dressed up in disguises, entered the coffee shop. They all took their order under fake names (Marcel, Irish, Will, Superman and Painter, can you make it any more obvious?) and sat at a booth, waiting for mine and Amber’s brake to have a chat. When we sat down, Liam told us:

 

”We’re jammin’ with the band tonight, practising some songs for the new album, and maybe some covers just for fun, you in Amber?”

 

”I’d love to, but I can’t, it’s my mother’s birthday and the whole family’s going out to dinner.” She pouted.

 

”Aw, is baby Amber upset she can’t come?” I mocked her in a baby-voice, pinching her cheeks while I was at it. The whole table laughed as Amber slapped my hand away, slightly embarrassed. ”I love you too” I told her as she shrunk back in her seat even more embarrassed.

 

She then smiled maliciously at me. ”Is Jo finally starting with the covers she nagged about months ago, or are you lads doing the singing?”

 

My whole face dropped as I stared at her. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO ME?! She knows how insecure I am about my singing voice, and how much worse that insecurity became around the guys. They’d never heard me sing, and I was planning on keeping it that way, but now the lads would never let this go. They’d wanted to hear me sing for weeks.

 

”What?” They all said as they stared between Amber and me. Harry stared at me, ”You can sing?”.

 

”I fucking hate you, you know that right?” I seethed at Am, ignoring Harrys question.

 

”No you don’t, and you’ll thank me later.” She said as she got out of her seat. Our break was up, but I was not planning on talking to her more than necessary during the rest of the day. Before any of the lads could ask me again, I got up and went behind the counter. They then decided it was best to go home instead, and picking the band up on the way. They were supposed to rehearse in the studio room at home anyway, so why not pick them up when they were out?

 

When the shift was over and I had changed to my regular clothes, I got a phonecall from Niall.

 

”What?” I answered rudely as I walked towards my car. I already knew why he was going to ask me.

 

”Well hi to you too, our dear sister.” I heard Harry say in the phone. It was on speaker, so it was a bit hard to know what everybody was saying. ”We thought it’d be easier to get you to say yes if we were in fact on the phone, and not face to face.” Liam said now.

 

”I’m not going to sing to you.” I said as I stepped inside the car, and I received multiple groans from the phone.

 

”But why not? We won’t make fun of you!” Louis exclaimed, and I raised my eyebrows.

 

”So you’re assuming that I can’t sing?”

 

”Uhm... No? No, I mean yes! We do believe you can’t sing, and the only way you can make us change our minds is to sing for us!” Zayn said, and I was shaking my head as I laughed at his awful try at reverse psychology..

 

”I’m sorry, but it won’t happen. Ever. Anyways, I’m in the car on my way home, picking up some pizzas for dinner. See you soon!” I hung up before they had a chance to say something back, effectively ending the discussion.

 

As I walked through the door, I expected the lads and the band to either jump on me and be over-cuddly and loving, or completely ignore me until I sang to them. So I was surprised when they didn’t do either. They didn’t even mention it, the lads just went straight for the pizza while Josh, Sandy, Jon and Dan all attacked me in their hugs. It was nice to see them again, it was almost a month before the last time.

 

At around ten that evening, the band all went home, and now we were all sitting on the floor of the living room, very bored. Then, Harry suggested a game of truth or dare, and I thought nothing on it and agreed. After a few truths, like the one we found out, that Liam once kissed a guy, and a couple or dares, like Niall tweeting some really awkward tweets to Simon Cowell, it was Louis turn.

 

”Jo, truth or dare?” He smirked at me, and I knew that I’d be in trouble if I picked the wrong answer. But I thought I’d rather do I truth, than a dare, they know pretty much everything about me anyway so it can’t be that bad, right?

 

”I’ll go with truth...”

 

”Why won’t you sing for us?” I’d fallen into the trap. I still had the option to switch to a dare, and I since this was the ”evil” choice, why not use the switch right now?

 

”Ugh, I’ll do the switch... I think. I don’t know, can’t we just stop play now? Watch a movie or something?”

 

”No way, I wanna know the answer! Answer this, then we can stop.” Liam said, and the other boys seemed to agree. It sucks to be the only girl sometimes.

 

”Okay so do you wanna go with the truth or switch to a dare?” Louis asked me.

 

”I’ll switch, I want a dare. I’ve had enough deep-talk for this year with you guys.” I grumbled.

 

Oh, fucking, no. _How_ on earth could I’ve been so _bloody stupid_? I know what he’s thinking, and I can’t do it, I won’t, I’m never going to d-

 

”Sing for us. You choose the song, but sing for us. At least a verse and chorus.” Louis grinned and the other lads cheered, since there was nothing I could do. I had to. Well, technically I didn’t have to, I mean, they can’t me to do it, but it’s a part of the game. It’s all part of the game, and it’d dumb to drop out now because something as stupid as an insecurity.

 

Sighing, I looked at Niall. ”I’ll need music, wanna play?”

 

”Sure”, he grinned, and fetched his guitar which he left in the studio. He came back shortly and asked me: ”What’re you gonna sing?”

 

”I think I’ll go with something simple, A team by Ed Sheeran should do”

 

I took a deep breath as Niall started playing, and I began to sing.

 

_”White lips, pale face_  
Breathing in snowflakes  
Burnt lungs, sour taste  
Light's gone, day's end  
Struggling to pay rent  
Long nights, strange men  
  
And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since 18  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
  
And they scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
Cos we're just under the upperhand  
And go mad for a couple of grams  
And she don't want to go outside tonight  
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland  
Or sells love to another man  
It’s too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
Angels to fly!   
  
Ripped gloves, raincoat  
Tried to swim and stay afloat  
Dry house, wet clothes  
Loose change, bank notes  
Weary-eyed, dry throat  
Call girl, no phone  
  
And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since 18  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
  
And they scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
Cos we're just under the upperhand  
And go mad for a couple of grams  
But she don't want to go outside tonight  
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland  
Or sells love to another man  
It's too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
An angel will die  
Covered in white  
Closed eye  
And hoping for a better life  
This time, we'll fade out tonight  
Straight down the line  
  
And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since 18  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
They scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
And we’re all under the upperhand

_Go mad for a couple of grams_  
And we don't want to go outside tonight  
And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland  
Or sell love to another man  
It's too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
Angels to fly  
To fly, fly  
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly  
Angels to die”


	7. Why would you hide this from us?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys reaction to Jo singing.

When I quieted down I was full on terrified, and my thoughts were all over the place. _What if they hated it? What if I really can’t sing? Will they make fun of me? If they do, I’ll never hear the end of it. PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease like it. Or whatever, just don’t hate it._

 

”Wow. Jo, just wow...” Harry said flabbergasted.

 

”Why were you so stubborn about not singing to us? That was amazing!” Louis told me, eyes wide.

 

”I don’t know...” My cheeks were heating up, I wasn’t used to this kind of praise for my singing voice. ”I mean, the few people who’ve ever heard me sing have told me I’m not that good at it, so I didn’t want to sing to you, because obviously you’re all so talented...” I finished of, not really wanting to continue. Their faces showed me nothing but shock.

 

”Who else have heard you sing?” Niall said a bit harsh.

 

”Well, those ”friends” of mine from high school, Erik and my music teachers in school. I don’t really sing to people, even Amber hasn’t heard me sing yet.”

 

”Well, obviously, they’re about as musically talented as a bucket if they told you you couldn’t sing. From now on, don’t listen to anyone but the people who really know you. All those people you know from back home seems to be bloody idiots, and you shouldn’t listen to them, because they’re all wrong.” Zayn preached. He’s known for being the quiet one, but he never hesitates to talk if he’s talking about matters important to him. So it meant a lot.

 

”But you all know me, you’re all biased. What if they’re right?” My insecurities were still there, no matter how badly I wanted them gone.

 

”Not to be like that, but seriously Jo. How many awards have we been nominated to, and how many have we won? And what about them? Got any teen choice awards in their bookshelves? They don’t know shit compared to us, think a little before you decide who to believe.” Liam smirked at me.

 

”Whoa! Swearing, boasting _and_ a whole lot of sass. Who are you and what have you done to Liam Payne?” I laughed, and the others joined in, even Liam himself.

 

”Oh shut up, you know you love it. But seriously, don’t ever be scared to sing to us again. I wouldn’t mind hearing some of that again, neither of us would. And Jo, even if you were a horrible singer, we’d still love you, okay? You don’t have to worry about that.”

 

”But I wasn’t-”

 

”Yes you were, you just didn’t say it. You didn’t have to, we could see it on you. We could never not love you.” Liam answered before throwing himself to hug me, and soon the others joined us in a big pile on the floor. Arms and legs were all over the place, and soon, I felt someones finger going up and down my left side. I tried to squirm away, but I was pretty much stuck.

 

”Hey, whoever you are, stop this right no-ow!” I started screaming, laughing and moving around at the same time. I’m extremely ticklish, and this was not funny at all. The others realised what was going on, and soon they began too, and I was laughing so much I was crying.

 

”Guys! Stop! Pl-ple-ease! It-t’s not fa-air!” I could barely get the words out. This was literally my own personal hell.

 

”Only if you promise you’ll sing more, and stop being so damn shy about it!” Louis stated, still tickling me.

 

”In fact, try to stop being so damn shy about everything around us. We won’t judge you, nor would our friends and you know that!” Zayn added.

 

”I will-I’ll stop, just pleeease stop ti-ickling me!” I nearly screamed.

 

And then they stopped.

 

”Mission accomplished.” Liam said smugly.

 

”Yeah yeah, very funny. Now get off of me you hippos, I can’t breathe! You don’t exactly weigh ten pounds, you know that right?”

 

”Hey, I’m offended!” Louis joked.

 

”And just for that, we’re staying exactly where we are.” Niall said.

 

”Yeah, I find this quite comfortable!” Harry said, lying on the top of the pile.

 

”Speak for yourself! What are you, Snorlax?” Zayn huffed from the middle of the pile. I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in weeks, but it seemed that I was the only one who knew what Zayn referred to.

 

”What was that, a Snorkas? What’s that?” Louis asked.

 

”It’s a Snorlax, not Snorkas. And it’s a pokémon. You do look quite a bit like him Harry!” I said, and both Zayn and I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

 

”C’mon, stop nerding around and get off, I’m starting to lose the feeling in my legs!” Liam started to squirm around, and managed to roll Harry and Louis to the floor, while Niall and Zayn got up on their own.

 

”So, Nialler, truth or dare?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus-points to the ones who saw the Harry Potter-reference!


End file.
